Mr. Greene was recently spotted in the alleyways of Korea where he reportedly spends much of his time eating Duc Pulci (spelling not accurate) and trying not to step in big piles of vomit left by underage Korean girls just looking to have a good time. He has a girlfriend, but is open to having more (“Hey, it’s Korea,” he once jokingly said to an undercover North Korean spy who did not find his comment funny at all, and consequently, gave Mr. Greene a slice of bad pork which made him sick for a week. Score one for North Korea!) He is generally considered a menace to Korean society, a bad influence on his students, and overall a pretty mediocre teacher except when he plays Beatles tunes to them, at which point his students lose their minds in a flurry of passion. All subsequent teaching is therefore pointless (score one for Mr. Greene!)

Mr. Greene watches way too many movies, and actually believes that some of them are based on his life. At one time he was actually convinced the movie The Truman Show was about him and that everyone in his life was an actor pretending to be related to him. He suffers from dillusions of grandeur and he trusts nobody, except Paulene Kael at times.

He was taking a Martial Arts class called Sun Guan Mu, but has not been in a month due to a succession of illnesses of which his mother is worried to pieces. He believes her to be overly concerned and in general, kinda crazy. But so is everyone he thinks.

He maintains that he is a positive person although those around him tend to disagree and even go to great lengths to tell him how negative he is. He believes what a person says and what a person does are two very different things and nobody should be judged by just one facet of their character. People should not be judged at all, he thinks, just observed and noted in a private journal. No biases. No preferences. No discrimination.

Only information. But always, confidentially.